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When we take sex out of the equation

Posted on Wednesday, 30th November 2011 @ 10:18 PM by Text Size A | A | A

That’s what Christianity has done. The Christian ‘pantheon’ (Christianity is NOT a monotheistic religion) is strictly asexual. It is formed of the father, son, and holy mother, all neatly organised in a strictly patriarchal view of things: God, is male (and English, if you are in England, little harmless pun stolen from my Vicar friend, who is also a Goth).

Ok, but what does it mean in practical terms? ‘I’m not even religious,’ I hear you say. True, but Christianity, over the last few centuries has deeply influenced the way we think; if you actively say ‘sex is bad and dirty’ in a million little ways, you are saying that sex is not important, when you are looking at finding a partner for marriage (whatever ‘marriage’ means to you). Sex is central: sex is the main way men and women communicate and bond with each other.

Ok, you may disagree on the above, and there are different degrees and facets to this statement; we can talk for days I am sure, but think of it. I asked one of my friends why she is cheating on her husband (above average intelligent woman, educated and obviously devoted to her family: she’s just looking for a fuck partner because she doesn’t get sexual satisfaction from the relationship anymore. By the way, it won’t be me , I’m into boys ). What came out of a prolonged and very interesting discussion, is that it’s not worth throwing away a ‘good marriage’ over sexual needs that go unsatisfied (hers).

While I can totally see where she’s coming from, what comes to mind is, why does she not consider her sexual needs important, within the relationship? Why is it not something she feels that needs discussing, addressing and solving, with her husband? If the spark has gone, there may be deeper issues. Basically, ‘sex’ is seen as something secondary, once there is a family and other commitments.

Well, but don’t people get married on that basis too, to have a regular, satisfying sexual life? I think it’s a god given right, and yes, I know perfectly well that ‘god’ is spelled with a capital ‘g’; I just don’t bother playing according to the rule .

Anyway, to go back to the Christianity issue, it strikes me that in Eastern phylosophies sex is seen as a ‘sacred’ activity, the gateway to enlightment even, and doesn’t have the sinful connotations we ascribe to it as a culture. Is it perhaps time to take things in our hands, and forge a different vision of sexual matters?

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