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Selling the Revolution

Posted on Monday, 27th June 2011 @ 02:38 AM by Text Size A | A | A

Good morning, progressives.  I want to thank you for coming to this seminar.  I’ve done an analysis of your business and I’m afraid the numbers don’t look good.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that I’m here to help you fix it.

Let’s break it down and see if we can’t find the problem.  You have the concepts, you have the vision, you have the moral compass.  Your should have more than enough voters to waltz just about any candidate you want into any office in the land.

But you don’t.  You took a murderous shellacking two years ago and your revolution looks further away than ever.  Why are you failing when you should be winning?  What’s missing from the progressive agenda?

Salesmanship, my friends.  Frankly, you stink at it.  Your competition consistently outsells you, and their product is a steaming pile of crap.

I want to ask everyone here a question.  Do you really believe?  Do you believe your ideas are the best ones out there?  Do you think it’s a matter of life or death for your customers if they are misled and buy the competition’s failed ideas instead?

Of course you do.  And since you do, don’t you have a moral obligation to sell your ideas to the absolute best of your ability?

So, how are your sales figures this month?  How are you doing closing deals, promulgating ideas, changing minds?

Because that’s your job, you know.  Changing minds.  If you don’t succeed at that it’s not the customer’s fault.  It’s yours.

Starting right now we’re going to turn this around.  I don’t want to hear any more negativity.  Negativity doesn’t sell.

Take Social Security, for instance.  It’s running short of cash.  Your competitors on the right don’t really care if it does or doesn’t, as long as the people don’t blame them.

But you have a better story to tell, a positive story.

Prospect: “What do we do about this danged Social Security thing?”

Progressive: “We’ll, I’ll tell you Mrs. Voter.  We could do like the Republicans want and raise the retirement age up to where a coal miner couldn’t come out of the earth until he was so full of carbon he could sign his checks with his tongue.  Or we could fix it the progressive way.

“Just take the cap off that tax, keep the rate the same and tax those folks making over 100K the same as a guy making five bucks an hour.  There’s you Social Security fix right there, the modern, progressive way!”

See?  Salesmanship.  Pitch your ideas in a positive way and I guarantee you, they’ll sell.  Tell your customer he’s an idiot and he’ll buy snot-covered turds from your competition, just to spite you.

A good salesperson doesn’t cuss out his customers if they make the occasional objection.  He expects objections and he never finds them objectionable.  He hears what his prospect has to say, nods appreciatively, then gets back to selling his product.

Here’s how to handle sales resistance from a tough customer.

Prospect:  “It’s this damned big government that’s driving us to ruin.  We gotta stop big government.”

Progressive:  “I hear you, Mr. Voter.  But once we get rid of big government we’ll still have big oil and big pharma and big agriculture and big chemical and big everything else.  Whose going to watch those guys once big government is gone?”

And then you go into your pitch, the one about corporate greed, the disregard of the filthy rich for the filth they leave behind, and how maybe somebody should do something about it, and you’re that somebody.

I want the whole class to repeat after me:  “Good salesmanship outsells bad salesmanship.”

I see a boatload of bad salesmanship from progressives when they talk about America and its place in the world.  You want to see a progressive blow a sale, just toss the words American Exceptionalism into the discussion.  Your competitors on the right use that issue to beat you into butter.  But I’m going to show you how to deal with it.

Here’s bad salesmanship dealing with American Exceptionalism: “America isn’t exceptional, never was, never will be.  Don’t believe the flag-wavers, America is just an ordinary country, or worse.”

Now here’s good progressive salesmanship on American Exceptionalism: “America is as exceptional as we want to make it.”

If you’re serious about wanting to change the world, which of those two arguments brings you closer to your goal?

Right now, progressives have an unprecedented opportunity.  Most of the nation is upset with the status quo.  They know things are messed up six ways from sundown.  They know the game is fixed, and they don’t get an even break.  But they’re so confused they not only bite the hand that feeds them, they don’t realize that it’s their own hand they’re biting.

The only thing that can stand between the public and the forces that are abusing them is a progressive government.  That’s what you should be selling.

But that product doesn’t sell itself.  If it did, we’d be halfway to the revolution already.

Now I want you to go out there and sell.  The revolution is yours, if you take it.  It’s time to hit the streets and show us what you’ve got!

“Yes, that’s right, Mr. and Mrs. America.  We here at Progressive Thought and Action offer a better brighter future for you and your family.  Why don’t I take your absentee vote right now and you and the missus can drive home knowing you’ve done the right thing, okay?  Okay.”

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