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CONGRESS PUSH FOR “NO FAT CHICKS” AND MORE AS RECOGNIZED WHITE HOUSE MOTTOS

Posted on Saturday, 5th November 2011 @ 02:13 AM by Text Size A | A | A

In lieu of passing a resolution reaffirming “In God We Trust” as the national motto, Rep. Randy Forbes (R, VA) says that they’re just getting started.

As 2012 quickly approaches and the country in constant division and disarray, Congress did the only thing to make themselves appear productive, turn to faith (non)issues.

“The motto’s been working out great for our currency, so we decided it was time to go all out with some reaffirmation!” Rep. Forbes explained.

Although some Americans are against this bill, studies show that only about 10% of Americans identify as Atheists, a group Forbes says he’s willing to exclude.

“This is America,” Forbes declared, “If we don’t live in a country where one can’t high-jack faith and use it as an excuse to not address complex issues, well, it’s a good thing that’s not the country we live in, or else I don’t think I’d like my job too much!”

But Rep. Forbes isn’t finished. He has more potential mottos that he plans to push forward.

“I saw one of those Occupy Wall Street hippies out there, and they had a sign pointing to the White House that said ‘This is not a Church.’ Well, I don’t like the sound of that, people are forgetting about the values this country was founded on, so I’ve proposed a new motto: ‘This isn’t a Church—Yet.’”

Forbes says the motto will give Americans hope towards a better tomorrow.

“Has a nice ring to it, gives us something to work towards, we’ve got the prayer caucus, and we’re gonna keep pushing forward!” Forbes promised.

As far as the “No Fat Chicks” motto, that was a bi-partisan effort that Congress developed together, albeit a difficult conclusion to reach.

“Some of the more liberal members of Congress wanted to go with ‘Some Fat Chicks,’ or ‘Beauty is on the Inside,’ but we worked through the weekend, just like that last time with Obama, and we got it done!”

The bill now rests with the Senate.

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