Female sexuality

Posted on Wednesday, 30th November 2011 @ 10:15 PM by Text Size A | A | A

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Why is it so difficult, for some men (not all), to consider female sexuality on the same footing with male sexuality? I always wonder. Is it conditioning, a sense of being ‘male’ that is linked to behaving in a certain way sexually, and founded on the precept that women don’t feel the same way about sex?

Well, boys, I hate to break it to you, but many women do have the very same desires you have, and the same insecurities. Now that thankfully marriage is not the forced career of choice for women, many women actively do not want to get married (a percentage as high as 80%, according to what I’ve heard: word of mouth).

From what I see in London on a Friday/ Saturday night, there are no qualms about showing flesh and one night stands; you may see it as a sure sign of moral decadence, I personally view it as a sign that women are going out and actively looking for what they want.

I am personally no sex beast (in fact I go long times without sex, and happily so) but I think a woman’s desires are very legitimate and should be satisfied. Yes, men may be randier in a sense; but that doesn’t mean that women view sex in a radically different way. Stereotypically, one would say women tend to associate emotions to the experience, and again perhaps that’s right, but let me explain.

Wanting to add an emotional dimension to the experience, doesn’t in actual fact mean that the woman wants to commit to the man; it simply means that the sexual act is embellished by a bit of ego boosting for her (meals, romantic poems dedicated to her eternal feminine, a serving knight, and so on). Eroticism is embellished by feelings, and makes the experience more intense. Do we have to stay together forever, do I want your babies? No. Do you have to be kind and respectful to me, and treat me like a queen anyway? Yes. (And if you try to say I’m a slag with your friends, I’ll go around saying you have erectile problems).

So, you see, it doesn’t take much to get laid; just a bit of consideration. I believe though, that sexual matters are strictly related to dominance; unfortunately there was for thousands of years an imbalance in that sense, so this is reflected in how society views sex, and male and female sexuality specifically. It’s incorrect to say that this was so everywhere and in any age, as there are many exceptions; it is probably correct to say though, that Christianity has done a lot of damage in that sense in Europe, especially in the XVII-XIX centuries.

These centuries are supposedly the centuries where humanity was ‘enlightened’ and where scientific discovery started shaping our modern views: I am not sure though we will find any other parallel in history, in regard to the fact that entire towns (almost) seemed to be devoted to prostitution in those times. Prostitution was endemic: this shows to me that the social structure was far from healthy. This and other problems that should not exist in a society that declares itself Christian, compassionate and enlightened.

I’d like to conclude this brief reflection saying that if we put one gender above the other, we impoverish both, in different ways. Can you imagine the pressure of being the ‘star performer’, at all times? I can’t. It’s good to be weak and human and to be able to share our problems and insecurities as human beings, regardless of our gender.

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